Back to Akatsuki!
by Bri Nara
Summary: The sequel to "Two fangirls and Akatsuki", when Bri and Suka come back! Akatsuki: NOOO! Both me and Suka: YES!
1. OMG THEY'RE BACK!

**Bri Nara Production**

_Suka: We're going back?!_

_Bri: Yup._

_Suka: Yay! X3_

_Bri: But we have to bring my friend along._

_Suka: Why? O-o_

_Bri: 'Cause he went down on his knees, begging._

"We have to go again?"

Bri and Suka were in Tsunade's office, again. Bri had long dark-brown hair, while her cousin Suka had black hair and Hyuga eyes.

"Yes, you have to go again," said the blonde Hokage as she sighed. "I need you to tell me what's their objective. And why they stole the Sand Village's Kazekage earlier."

_Has she forgotten that we know this already? _Bri thought. _Or has she finally stopped trying to ask?_

"Oh, and you're supposed to take Shairo."

"Why?!"

"Because he begged me to, and threatened to take away all the sake..." Tsunade looked at the floor as she said the last part.

"Great. Well, let's go Bri." Suka grabbed Bri by the ponytail as she walked out the door.

"OW!!!"

**...One hour later...**

"How are we going to get into Akatsuki this time?" Suka asked.

"We can't do blackmail this time, seeing that I lost the picture..." Bri said as she checked her pockets.

"Well, can't we just bust ourselves in?" Shairo asked.

Shairo had silver hair and golden eyes. He had on a Hidden Leaf Headband, and a Jashinism necklace. He had a black and white scythe, which he claimed was awesomer than Hidan's. (This is a friend of mine, who actually gave me a lot of ideas for this fanfic.)

"Wait, I have an idea." Bri walked up to the Akatsuki base's door and knocked. A hyper man with an orange mask opened it.

"Oh! Bri-chan! Come in!" Tobi let Bri, Suka, and Shairo in.

"TOBI-KUN!!!" Suka had hearts in her eyes as she gave him a fan-glomp. And Bri had to dragged her off of him.

"...That scared Tobi..."

"Suka! Why did you do that?" Shairo asked. "Tobi's a good boy!"

Then Tobi led them to the room where the entire Akatsuki was having a meeting. Everyone died on their feet when Bri and Suka grinned at them.

"Hi you guys..."

Kisame grabbed Tobi by the collar of his cloak, started running, and screamed "OH MY GOD!!!"

Kakuzu screamed "HOLY S___, THEY'RE BACK! AND THEY BROUGHT _FRIENDS_!"

Suddenly Hidan was chasing Shairo, who was laughing maniacally. "GIVE ME BACK MY SCYTHE, DAMMIT!"

"NEVER! You'll have to pry it from my disembodied immortal hands!"

Konan started running away yelling, "Don't hit me with the pie again! Don't hit me with the pie again!"

Pein just glared at them. "What do you want?"

"We want to join Akatsuki again." Bri said.

Hidan snatched his scythe back and shouted, "Why the f___ would we have you back, Bri___?"

Bri held up a picture she got off the Internet, a picture of almost the entire Akatsuki doing Naruto's "Sexy Jutsu". Hidan grinned, everyone else turned red.

"Let us in, or this goes across the Five Great Nations."

Kakuzu's eyes widened as he thought about his reputation going down the drain.

"_And _you all get hugged by Suka."

Deidara screamed like a little girl as he remembered the last time Suka hugged him.

"Fine, you're in."

"YAAAY!" Suka grabbed Itachi, and dragged him all the way to his room. Then there was silence.

**Ok, let the madness commence!**

**Suka: This is the first time you used me in a fanfic for AGES. No wonder you keep running out of good ideas. ^^**

**-.-... Review.  
**


	2. Madness!

_Warning, they may get out of character, once or twice. And there may be Hidan bashing. No, there WILL be Hidan bashing. Longest chappie EVER!  
_

Shairo and Hidan stood 5 feet away from each other, each of them in Jashin symbols. Hidan's purple eyes glared into Shairo's golden eyes as they both pulled out their scythes. Bri and Deidara were standing near this, Deidara holding up Bri's camera.

Then Kisame walked up behind Bri. "Uh..."

"Hi Sushi."

"What are you doing?"

"They're gonna have a stabbing contest. And it's going to be awesome, because whoever loses is forced to go into Konan's room."

Kisame's eyes widened as she said the punishment. "But the last guy never came out..."

"Exactly." Bri grinned.

Kisame grinned back. "Evil as ever."

"No duh. Oh, by the way, you might want to get Itachi-san a therapist when and if he gets out of his room."

"Why? What happened?"

"Suka captured Itachi-san." Bri's eye twitched. "I'd start looking for a new partner by now."

There was a slicing sound. Deidara let out a "Oooo. That's gonna leave a mark, un."

**...55 very very gruesome minutes later...**

There were two immortals on the ground, because they literally fell to pieces. Bri was laughing. Deidara turned off the camera.

"Just wait until Kakuzu sees how you fell apart this time, Hidan, un."

Shairo's finger pointed at where-ever Hidan's head was supposed to be. "Ha! I win! You have to go to Konan's room! EPIC FAIL!"

"No! That's a load of f___ing bulls___! _I _won!"

Kisame looked down. "You both look equally messed up."

"Which means both of you lose, un." Deidara and Bri both grinned.

"Hey! Kakuzu!" Bri yelled out. "I found a priceless treasure here for you! It's in the living room!"

Kakuzu walked (half-ran) into the living room and asked "What treasure?" Then he stepped on Hidan's head.

"OW! Watch where the f___ you're going!"

Kakuzu looked down at the mess and sighed. "You have _got _to be kidding..."

"Trust me, Kaku-san," Bri patted him on the head. "You'll have a lot more work to do after they go into Konan's room."

Kakuzu's eyes grew wide, then he grinned under his mask. "Suddenly I like the idea of working."

"Oh! Kakuzu! Give me stitches on my arms!" Shairo called out.

"... Why?"

"'CAUSE THEY'RE AWESOME!"

"O...k..."

After Kakuzu finally got them stitched up, everyone stood outside Konan's room. Tobi was asking Deidara what was in there. Deidara never answered. Zetsu asked Bri repeatedly if he could eat Shairo if he dies.

Shairo looked at the stitches that were now across his arms. "Awesome."

"Let's just get in that b___'s room and get the f___ out."

They both went into they room. Then everyone had an evil look on their faces.

"Hey, Kakuzu," Bri said. "How much you wanna bet that they don't last five minutes."

"10."

"40."

"20."

"Fine."

**About five seconds later...**

"OH MY F___ING JASHIN-SAMA, GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!" Nobody could tell whether it was Hidan or Shairo because the pitch of the scream was too high.

Itachi walked over to them, and his right eye kept twitching. "What's going on?"

Tobi pointed at Bri. "Bri-chan made Hidan-san and Shairo-kun go in there!"

"I see Bri is still sadistic towards Hidan and I." Itachi half-winced when Bri started humming the Barney theme song happily.

"Are you ok, Itachi?" Kisame asked.

"No. No I'm not."

Then the door to Konan's room burst open as two very scratched up immortals ran out. "The horror! The mother f___ing horror!"

Then Hidan ran directly into Suka. "What the f___ were you doing in Konan's room?!"

"Uh..."

Suka wrapped her arms around Hidan and grinned.

"You wouldn't..."

"Try me." Suka hugged him. _CRACK! _Hidan's back was bending the wrong way.

"Pwned," Bri and Shairo said together.

"Ow... that hurt like a b____!"

"_You _don't go in _anyone's room! _Just for that, I'm starting the truth or dare again!"

"..." Bri had a deadpanned look on her face. Shairo looked surprised. Hidan looked like he'd wet himself. Itachi's eye twitched.

"A-Again?" Kisame choked out.

"The last time we played started a civil prank war," Itachi said.

"You guys had a prank war without me?!" Shairo asked. "Was it bad?!"

"THAT WAR WAS LIKE F___ING HELL! I GOT MY HEAD SHOVED DOWN A TOILET _AND _BLOW UP!"

Shairo looked at Bri and Deidara, who were both grinning. Then all three burst out laughing.

"You son of a b___! That's wasn't funny!"

"Like hell it isn't! Dang, I wish I saw it!"

"Screw you, brat."

**...**

The entire Akatsuki were in a circle, in the living room. This time, Bri dragged Pein and Konan into this. Everyone was glaring at each other as anticipation fulled the air.

"Tobi wants to go first!" Tobi shouted out. (Totally _killing _the action-movie stare-down. -.-) "Tobi picks... Shairo-kun! Truth or dare?"

"Dare me. I can take it! What could Tobi possibly dare?"

Tobi made a signal for Shairo to come closer. "Tobi dares you to make Sempai really really mad..." Tobi whispered.

"Done." Shairo stood up, cleared his throat, then sang at the top of his lungs "_DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!!!_"

"WHAT, UN?!" Deidara stood up and threw his hands into his pouches.

"Hey! Deidara! No blowing up people!" Bri yanked Deidara's arms out of his pouches. "Shairo, hurry up with your turn."

"Uh... Hidan, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to jump off the roof of the base and sing 'I believe I can fly!'"

"That's a stupid-a__ dare." Hidan got up and walked away. Then everyone looked looked out the window to see Hidan falling. "I BELIEVE I CAN-!" _SPLAT._

"That looked fun!" Then Shairo left. Everyone saw Shairo falling out the window, doing a skate-trick with his ankles. "I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!!!"

_SPLAT._

"Tobi," Bri said, "be a good boy and clean them up, please." Nobody but Tobi made a move to go clean up the immortal concrete-stains.

"Ok, Bri-chan!" Tobi grabbed the mop Pein held out to him and left.

"I'll go for Hidan," Pein said blankly. "Itachi, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What did Suka do to you earlier?"

Itachi's usually emotionless eyes started twitching again. "Things. Terrible things." Everyone stared at Suka, who was smiling too sweetly. "Deidara, truth or dare?"

Deidara glanced at Suka. "Truth, un!"

"Did you actually do this with Sasori?" He held up a picture of Deidara and Sasori hugging each other. Deidara turned red.

"So _that's _where that picture went!" Bri cried out.

"No, un! I did _not _do that with Sasori-danna, un!!"

"_Sure _you didn't..." Bri said evilly.

"I DIDN'T, UN! Konan, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to take Shairo into your room again when he comes back, un."

Then Tobi, Hidan, and Shairo walked back into the room. "What'd we miss?"

"Good timing, un."

Konan got up, grabbed Shairo by the ear, and dragged him to her room.

"Wait... what are you...? NO! NO! OH MY JASHIN, HELP!!!" Then there was silence, and crickets.

"Why are you smiling like that, Bri?" Suka asked.

"Nothing..."

"I'll go for Konan," Suka said. "Bri-chan, truth or dare."

"Dare, 'cause truth is boring."

Suka crossed her arms and thought. "Now... what can I do?" An imaginary light-bulb lit up over her head. "I know!" She got her mouth next to Bri's ear. "I dare you to sing **_that_** song with Hidan."

Bri eyes grew wide as she glanced at her 22-year-old immortal duet partner. "As much as it suits us, _hell no!_"

"Do you want me to start another prank war?"

"No... Zombie, come here."

"What the f___ do you want?" Bri whispered the dare into his ear. "F___ NO!!!" Bri whispered that there'll be another prank war if he refuses. "Damn... fine..."

Bri and Hidan stood a bit away from each other, and Shairo and Konan came back in time to see this. Bri crossed her arms and started the song. (Anything you can do, performed by Bri and Hidan. Or you can watch it the million other ways on youtube.)

_Anything YOU can do I can do BETTER!_

_**Ha! XD  
**_

_I can do anything better than you. =P_

_**No you can't.**_

_Yes I can._

_**No you can't! (Very mad)**_

_Yes I can. ^^_

_**NO YOU CAN'T!**_

_Yes I can, YES I CAN! ^^ (Tries to stand taller than Hidan on tip-toes.)  
_

_**Anything you can be, I can be greater. (Standing tall over Bri.) Sooner or later, I'm greater than you.**_

_No you're not._

_**Yes I am. **_

_No you're not. -.-_

_**Yes I am. ^^**_

_No you're NOT! -__-"_

_**Yes I am, yes I am! XD**_

_**I can shoot a partridge, with a single cartridge. (Throws kunai at random bird out the window)  
**_

_I can get a sparrow, with a bow and arrow. (Grabs bow and arrow and shoots it at Sasuke. XP)_

_**I can live on bread and cheese. ^^**_

_And only on that? -.-_

_**Yup.**_

_So can a rat. =P (Kakuzu nearly rolls over laughing. Hidan is super mad.)_

_**Any note you can sing I can sing higher!**_

_I can sing ANY note higher than you. ^^_

_**No you can't.  
**_

_Yes I can. _

_**No you can't!**_

_Yes I can._

**_No you can't!!_**

_Yes I can!_

_**NO YOU CAAAN'T!!! (High as a dude's voice should go.)**_

_Yes I... CAAAAAAAN!!! (Window breaks, lens in Deidara's scope cracks.)_

_**("How the hell do you sing that high?!" O.o)**_

_("I'm a GIRL." -__-)_

_**("...") Anything you can say, I can say softer.**_

_I can say ANYTHING softer than you._

_**No you can't.**_

_Yes I can..._

_**No you can't...**_

_...Yes I can..._

_**...No you can't...**_

_...Yes I can, YES I CAN!!! ("The silence was nice while it lasted, un.")_

_**(Grabs a bottle of sake.) I can drink a liquor, faster than a flicker.**_

_("I'm not allowed to drink, idiot!" -__-") I can drink it quicker, and get even sicker._

_**I can open any safe.**_

_Without getting caught? O.o_

_**You bet! ^^**_

_That's what I thought, you crook. -.- (Hidan gets his butt kicked by Kakuzu.)_

_**Any note you can hold, I can hold longer.**_

_ I can hold ANY note longer than you._

_**No you can't.**_

_Yes I can._

_**No you can't.**_

_Yes I can._

_** No you caaaaan't.**_

_Yes I can! Yes IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII  
**("...F___.")**  
_

_IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII...  
("Holy S___.")_

_IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII can...! (Passes out and falls into Zetsu's arms.)_

_**Yes you caaaan! O.o ("Where the f___ do you keep all that air?!")**_

_("Ugh...")_

_**("Oh...") Anything you can say, I can say faster.**_

_(Comes back to life.) I can say anything FASTER than you._

_**No youcan't.**_

_Yes Ican._

_**Noyoucan't**_

_YesIcan._

_(Too fast to type. ^^u)_

_**I can jump a hurdle. XP (Jumps over Kakuzu)  
**_

_I can wear a girdle! _

_**I can knit a sweater. (Holds up a Jashinist cloak.)**_

_I can fill it better. (Puts the cloak on Shairo. "I'm keeping this!!!")_

_**I can do most anything. ^^**_

_Can you bake a pie? (Holds up banana-cream pie.)  
_

_**No...**_

_Neither can I. (Hits Pein with it.)_

_**Anything you can sing I can sing sweeter.**_

_I can sing ANYTHING sweeter than you. ^^_

_**Noo you caan't. (Flowery background.)**_

_Yes I caaaaaaaaaaaaaan. (Butterflies everywhere.)_

_**No you caaa-AN'T. (Rainbow.)**_

_Yes I caan. (Unicorn.)_

_**(Sunset beach scene) Nooo youu can't.**_

_(Chibi eyes) Yes I can._

_**No you can't...**_

_ Oh yes I caan..._

_**No you can't, can't, CAN'T! ("B___!")**_

_Yes I can, can, CAN! ("Zombie!")_

_YES I CAAAN!!!  
**NO YOU CAAAN'T!!!**_

Everyone stared. Suka looked like she might die laughing thinking _She taught me that stupid song, let's see how Hidan liked it._

"That was good, Bri-chan!" Tobi said. "Encore!!!"

"NO!" Bri and Hidan screamed together. "NOT WITH HIM/HER!"

"You were right." Pein said. "It _does _suit you two."

"Alright... Kakuzu, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"How much money do you have?"

"...Over 500 thousand ryo. Suka, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to hug me."

Everyone was shocked, even Itachi's eyes got wider. Suka walked over to him, wrapped her arms around his neck for about 2 seconds, then _ran._ Kakuzu was grinning under his mask as he pocketed a kitty covered wallet.

"Ew... Dei-kun, truth or dare?"

"Dare, un."

"I dare you to... kiss me!!!" She closed her eyes and puckered her lips.

Deidara cautiously walked over, put a hand on her forehead, then _ran faster than freakin' superman. _Suka apparently didn't notice the difference, because she sighed like a love-sick fangirl.

"Zetsu, truth or dare, un."

**"Dare." **the black-half said before the white could argue.

"I dare you to try and steal Konan's flower, un."

Both halves of Zetsu started internally freaking out. He reached his hand out for the paper, then found a very very **big **papercut on his arm. "Oh my gosh!!! **OW! That hurt, dammit!"**

"Are you okay, Zetsu-san?!" Bri cried out.

"Yes, thanks for your concern, Bri. **But concern isn't going to do s___ about this arm. Shairo, truth or dare?"**

"Dare me!" He noticed Zetsu staring at his scared arm. "Oh, that was an incident with weedkiller. It was a weed about your size, wait a minute...!"

**"I dare you to go into Konan's room, AGAIN!"**

Shairo got dragged away by Hidan. "WAIT! NOOOO!" Then he got thrown in there, again.

**Am I evil or what? ^^**

**Shai-kun: Demonic. X)**

**I knew it! Review!**

**Shai-kun: Wait, you're gonna leave me in there until next chapter?! O_o**

**Yup. ^^**

**Shai-kun: You _are _evil! O.o  
**


	3. Papercuts and food fights!

_Bri: Hi peoples! ^^_

_Shairo: Ugh... -.-_

_Bri: Are you still mad that I left you in Konan's room for about two weeks? O.o_

_Shairo: DUH!_

_Bri: Well, as a birthday gift, you get out of there this chapter._

_Shairo: (Chibi crying) Thank Jashin! I'M FREE!!!_

_Bri: Happy B-day, Shai-kun! ^^_

"Shouldn't we get him out of there already?!" Bri yelled at breakfast a week after truth or dare.

"Then why don't _you _get him out then, Bri?" Pein asked as he sipped coffee.

"Are you nuts?! _You _guys get him out!"

"Why should we-?"

_**"NOW!!!"**_ (I'll leave the look on my face to your imagination. ^^) The entire Akatsuki, even Suka, cowered in fear. _**"YOU BETTER GET YOUR BUTTS IN THERE AND GET HIM OUT NOW!!!"**_

Then they all ran into Konan's room. The entire room was covered in origami, even the bed. And in a corner was an origami copy of Pein, which was excellently colored in with colored pencil. The moment they set foot in that room, everyone got paper cuts from an invisible place.

Suddenly Konan was in front of them yelling, "What are you all doing in my room?!" A dozen papers came together, to make a very _long _and very _pointy _sword in her hand.

"No _wonder _this scared the s___ out of two immortal idiots..." Kakuzu said as he looked at the sword.

"There is nothing scarier than an angry woman holding a weapon, un." (Damn straight! -.-)

Meanwhile, Bri, Suka, and Zetsu stood outside the room, listening to everyone (except Itachi-san) scream like little girls. Bri was still grinning from ear-to-ear as she heard everyone go in.

"What are you smiling about, Bri-chan?!" Suka asked again.

"Nothing..."

"That evil look in your eye is kinda creepy," the white-Zetsu said. **"I like it."**

Then there was a silver-haired boy behind them, eating a bag of Doritos. "What are you doing?"

"Listening to the Akatsuki try to save Shairo," Suka replied. It took about ten seconds before she screamed out "SHAIRO?!"

"Yeah?" He had a bored look on his face, as if he were getting lectured by Tsunade.

Suka grabbed him by the front of the Jashinist cloak and started shaking him until he was a blur. "You idiot! Why didn't you _tell _us you got out of Konan's room?!"

"Because, I was out sacrificing!" Bri noticed his special "massacre" scythe on his back. "And why the hell would anyone go into Konan's room?"

"Because Bri-chan wanted to get you out." Zetsu said. **"So she scared everyone into going in there. She even scared _Hidan _into going back in there!"**

"Much as I agree that Bri can helpful when she wants... _KONAN'S GONNA KILL THE AKATSUKI! We have to get weapons!_"

"To Shairo's room!" Bri shouted.

They ran into Shairo's room to find a surprisingly empty gray room with nothing in it except a doggie bed. Everyone gave Shairo a stare that said _Uhhh...?_

"What?! They're comfy!" Everyone sweatdropped.

"I thought you loved weapons," Suka said. "So where are they?"

Shairo walked over to a wall and put his hand on it. Out of nowhere a secret agent-style hand-scanner came out of the wall. Then the walls flipped over to reveal every inch of it covered in weapons. Even the floor flipped over, except for the small space where the doggie bed was. The two girls and the plant-man went into a state of shock.

"Ho-"

"Ly-"

"Crap."

Shairo grinned. "You like it?"

Bri recovered from her shock first. "What? No spiky ball?"

Shairo took off his shoe and pulled a spiked metal ball out of it. "Anything else?"

"Uzis?"

Shairo pulled an Uzis out of his cloak.

"Katana?"

He went to the bed and pulled out a big sword. It was longer than the bed! Longer than Sasuke's Katana! About a foot longer than _Kisame's _sword!!!

"Ok... we have enough weapons..."

**...Five minutes later...**

Team "Akatsuki Lifesaver" burst into Konan's room. Bri was holding a chainsaw and an over-sized cartoon-style mallet, Suka was holding an Uzis and the back-up puppet that looked like Sasori, Zetsu was holding a pair of twin swords, while Shairo was holding his regular scythe and a paper-shredder. The entire Akatsuki stared for about 5 seconds before screaming like little girls.

"Holy crap! Who gave Bri a chainsaw?!"

"Look at the size of that Uzis!!"

"Sasori-danna, un?!"

"OH MY JASHIN-SAMA!!!"

Most of the Akatsuki were pinned to the ceiling by papers, with paper-clones of Konan holding paper-swords underneath. It looked like she was trying to make a real-life version of Itachi's "72 hours of torture". Pein, on the other hand, was getting a pink Mani-pedi from the Konan-clones and was forced to play spin the bottle.

"OMG," Bri said.

"The horror..." Zetsu said.

"LET GO OF MY ITACHI-KUN, B____!" Suka started firing the Uzis in random directions. The five men of Akatsuki whom Suka liked (Itachi, Hidan, Tobi, Pein, Deidara) watched in terror as their fangirl made a dozen paper-clones fall in Matrix slow-motion. Bri and Zetsu cut a few of the clones to shreds. Shairo was just stuffing them in the paper-shredder.

When must of them were down, Bri grabbed most of the Akatsuki then rushed out the room. Once everyone was out, everyone was heavily cut and bleeding all over the floor.

"Is everyone ok?"

"You call this f___ing ok?!"

Suka had hearts in her eyes and jumped onto the Uchiha who was just sitting there. "Itachi-kun!!!"

"Deidara-sempai!!!" Bri hugged the blonde across the waist. "Thank god we got you out in one piece!"

"Ok, let's never go into Konan's room. _Ever again._"

**That evening...**

"What's for dinner tonight?" Kisame asked.

"How should I know?" Shairo answered.

"It's your turn to make it tonight."

"Fine, but I'm not paying for it."

"I think you may have hung out with Kakuzu for too long." Kisame sweatdropped.

"There's no f___ing way."

"And Hidan." The sweatdrop got bigger.

"But I'm a good boy!"

"And Tobi." The sweatdrop got even bigger.

"Let me just go make dinner..."

**At dinner...**

The Akatsuki was at the dinner table, eating whatever was put in front of them. For Kisame, it was a tan-ish soup that was put in front of him, Shairo had some sort of meat served to him by Bri, and everyone else had spaghetti and meatballs.

Kisame slurped up the soup and asked Shairo "This is good. What is it?"

Shairo grinned in a very Bri-ish way. "Shark-fin soup."

"OH SON OF A-!!!" Kisame knocked his bowl away from him, then there was a splash as it landed on a certain someone. "Uh oh..."

If you can guess who it landed on, you get a cookie. If not, brace yourself. It landed on _Deidara._

The blonde bomber glared at Kisame as soup dripped from his hair. "Kisame...un..." He picked up his plate of spaghetti and threw it.

Unfortunately, Kisame dodged it, and it hit an unsuspecting Zetsu.

"Deidara...?" Zetsu picked up his plate, but his aim was off and it smacked Hidan. Hidan's silver hair covered in red spaghetti sauce.

"FOOD FIGHT!" And so Suka flipped the table to its side and made the barrier for the food fight.

Deidara stuck his hands out and made his palm-mouths fire food like cannons. Hidan and Shairo were reduced to using their scythes as baseball bats to smack the food away. Tobi was throwing like a madman. Zetsu closed his flytrap-thing but continued throwing.

One of the meatballs Hidan whacked away flew straight towards Deidara and Tobi. Then Bri jumped out in front of them in a overly-dramatic dive. (Insert slow motion)

"NOOOO!" The meatball nailed her right in the forehead. Then she fell right into Deidara's arms. "Sempai..."

"What is it, un?!"

"Try not... to blow up anyone..." Then her body went limp as she passed out.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, UN!!!"

Deidara and Tobi were official ticked off. Tobi's eye glowed red.

**_"YOU MUST PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO BRI-CHAN!!!" _**Everyone, especially Deidara, was surprised that Tobi could sound so _freakin' scary! _**"_SEMPAI! GET OUT YOUR POP ART!!!__"_**

Deidara got over his shock from the threatening Tobi and chuckled darkly. "I told you Tobi, pop is dead." He tossed a meatball to the middle of the room and made a handsign. "My art is... _superflat!_"

_BOOM! _The entire kitchen was covered in meatball, The only places that were covered was the little area around Bri.

Pein opened his eyes with difficulty since meatball almost sealed them shut. His looked around and ordered "Clean this up, then put your cloaks in the laundry."

But little did Pein suspect that Bri heard him, and she and Suka thought of a devious prank...

Shairo walked over to his plate of his untouched meat and took a bite. "By the way, it is this?"

Bri grinned. "Bunny."

"Dammit! I've been tricked again!!!"

**Shairo: You tricked me into eating rabbit _on my birthday?! O_O_  
**

**I can and I will! -.- I have a right to, since I share your copyrights.**

**Suka and Shairo: AND WHAT'S WITH THE MINI CLIFFHANGER?!**

**Bri: Sorry Sempai (Suka), Danna (Shairo), but you're not gonna find out until I bother to type it.**

**Everyone: Review!  
**


	4. Attack of the fangirls!

_Bri: Hi again peoples! ^^_

_Shairo: (Death glare) -_-_

_Bri: What is it? O.o_

_Shairo: I know what we planned in this chapter. O_o This proves we're evil!  
_

_Suka: You two planned out chappies without me?! -.-_

The men of Akatsuki were waiting for their clothes to get out of the laundry, because only Bri, Suka, and Konan ever found theirs. (Which meant all of the boys were shirtless! XD! No, I'm not a perv, this was Shairo-Danna's idea. -.-)

Kisame served a plate of meat to Shairo, who was still somewhat sleepy that morning. Kisame smiled as Shairo took a bite.

"Man, this is _awesome_! What is it?"

Kisame smiled, exposing all of his razor-sharp teeth. "Dog."

Shairo dropped the fork. "YOU SICK B____!"

Then Deidara, Itachi, and Hidan ran into the room, and slammed the door behind them. Their eyes widened as, at least, 1000 girls screamed. They as leaned against the door.

"You guys know how those f___ing b___s attacked the base three years ago?" (What happens when fangirls go into Naruto"! XD) "Well, some d___head told them where the base is, and now-!"

The girls burst into the room. And some of the first ones to run in there tackled Shairo to the ground.

"What the f___?! I'm not even _in _this anime!" About five more fangirls buried him.

"Remember, you can't spell 'Slaughter' without 'Laughter'!" one of the girls yelled. "And you can't spell 'Therapist' without 'The rapist'!"

"Those are _my _lines, dang it!" (They are. -.- I only wrote "You can't spell 'Party' without 'Art'. BOOM. XD)

The Deidara fangirls were trying to pin him down and get to his mouth. (Or should I say, any mouth within kissing distance. O_O) All of them screaming "DEIDARA-SEMPAI, UN!!! XD"

Itachi was _buried alive_. "Kisame...!" Suka was even in the pile after she was through with Deidara.

Hidan was pulled apart, and getting hugged by whichever fangirls had his limbs. "JASHIN-SAMA! PROTECT ME!! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!?!" (Quote from Tobi Show Valentine special. -.-)

Kisame was defenseless after one fangirl took his sword and the others attacked. "AHHHHHHHHH!!!"

The other Akatsuki members ran into the kitchen. Konan, Suka, and Bri were just standing there. (I'm holding a digital camera. XD) Pein had multiple fangirls hanging on to him by his piercings. Kakuzu had a purple-haired fangirl jump onto him. Zetsu had only one fangirl put him in a death-hug. (Poor Zetsu, he has almost no fangirls. = ( )

Tobi stood beside Bri and asked "How did they get in here?"

"I let them in." Bri, for some reason, was holding her nose as she looked at the madness.

"Why?"

"'Cause I _knew _this would happen." Bri smiled as she recorded Konan glomping Pein.

"Ok." Then Tobi ran off shouting "TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!" Then getting tackled by 50 fangirls.

**One hour later...**

All of the men in Akatsuki were forced to hide in the refrigerator (I'm not sure that's how you spell it but ok.) It was a _very _big fridge seeing that there were so many things stuffed in there by Zetsu. Shairo grabbed a random steak in the back and started eating. (He never got to finish his dog.)

"Should someone tell him he's eating Guinea Pig, un?" Deidara asked innocently.

Shairo dropped the plate. "Are you f__ing kidding me?!" (Don't you just _love _the running gag? XD)

Then everyone heard the fangirls outside screaming out the Akatsuki members' secrets.

"OMJ, Deidara's a boxer guy!" Deidara blushed fiercely.

"At least nobody will ask if you wear boxers or briefs." Everyone sweatdropped.

"I found Hidan's teddy-bear!!!" The fangirl who was outside held up a little skeleton teddy bear.

"YOU LEAVE MINI-JASHIN OUT OF THIS, B___!!!" Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. "WHAT?! I have a teddy bear and I'm f___ing proud!"

"I found Itachi's diary!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Everyone stared at the usually emotionless Uchiha. His fingers were twitching, and his eyes were wide. "FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS PURE AND DECENT, NOOO!"

"Is Itachi-san okay?" Tobi asked.

"Tobi, leave Itachi alone, un," Deidara said as he poked Itachi. "He's having a psychological break-down, un."

"Wait a sec... HOLY S__ WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!" Hidan cried out.

"Why?" Pein asked.

"Bri could blackmail us, _for life_!"

Pein sweatdropped. "Couldn't she do that before?" (*Smiles to my own unknown evil joke* X3)

"But that was _before _they found Deidara's underwear, _before _they found Itachi's f___ing diary, and _before _they found Mini-Jashin!"

"Good Point. But we need to distract the girls."

**"Someone who has a lot of fangirls..."**

Everyone instantly looked over at Deidara, Itachi, and Hidan. The three men on Akatsuki whom the fangirls would never hurt. (It is an Akatsuki fangirl LAW, don't kill those three.)

"So who's going out?"

"I volunteer... HIDAN TO GO OUT, UN!"

"WHAT?!"

Hidan got his butt kicked out of the frdge and all the fangirls saw him. He sighed, then yelled "COME AND GET ME, B____S!"

The men of Akatsuki sneaked away as Hidan got ripped apart again. They knew where Bri was, her and Suka's room. She was sitting at a bed reading a small blue book labelled in red letters "Property of Itachi. For the use of Itachi. No one else touch except for Itachi." Suka was petting a little blonde kitty.

"Dei-chan!" Tobi cried out. Deidara and Kisame glared at Tobi. "What? Tobi was going to tell Sempai and Kisame-san eventually..."

"Bri, Suka, call off the fangirls." Pein ordered.

Bri looked up from her little book and started holding her nose again. She grinned. "Okay, how desperately do you want me to call them off?"

Shairo walked up. "Bri, who's your danna?"

"You are."

"Then... _your master commands you._"

"Okay, but a few things first. Kakuzu, give me half the contents of your wallet."

Kakuzu's eyes widened. "She'll be a multi-millionaire!"

"And in return, I'll get rid of the fangirls _and _do the worst job in the house."

Tobi shivered. "Waking up everyone in the morning."

**One hour later...**

The fangirls were out of the base, and everything was back to normal except...

"Bri!!! What the f___ did you do with our cloaks?!"

"Nothing. I just took them so the fangirls would get more hyper to see you guys."

"You evil b___."

"Thank you, Zombie."

Bri gave back the cloaks, and finally stopped pinching her nose.

Suka raised an eyebrow. "Why did you hold your nose the whole time?"

"Have you forgotten I'm a Deidara fangirl?" (Deidara, Shikamaru, and Suigetsu fangirl! X3) "I don't want to have to clean the nosebleed."

"Ohh."

**Done with this chappie! ^^**

**Suka: YAY! I attacked Itachi-kun again!**

**For you, itoko-sempai. ^^**

**Everyone: Review!  
**


	5. Wake up call

_Bri: Great, I have to wake everyone up._

_Suka: What's wrong?_

_Bri: YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT A MORNING PERSON! O.o  
_

It was about 5:30 am, and Bri had to drag her sorry sadistic butt out of bed for her first day of wake-up duty. (Let's get one thing straight, Bri Nara is _not _a morning person. -__-")

Bri reached into her pocket and took out a piece of paper that was written in a six-year-old's handwriting. It was a letter, given to her that night, but she could barely read it since she couldn't see for the first ten minutes of awakening.

"_Dear Bri-chan,_

_Tobi heard how you have to wake us all up in the morning for a week. But its ok. ^^ Tobi write how to wake us up, cause Tobi's a good boy. And Tobi doesn't want Bri-chan to get hurt by the cranky members.  
_

_-From your buddy, Tobi. (Drawing of Tobi's lollipop-mask)_

_P.S Tobi doesn't know how you wake up Suka-chan and Shairo-kun. But Bri-chan probably knows them long enough to know. ^^'_"

Bri sighed as she decided to go easy on waking up Tobi. Since she was nearly blind when she first wakes up, she walked into the nearest room, which happened to be Kakuzu's.

Kakuzu's room was nearly empty, but still had more than Shairo's room. He had a tiny nightstand with his mask resting on it, a candle, and a mattress _FULL _of cash. Kakuzu was cuddling is rock-hard coin-stuffed pillow, mumbling numbers in his sleep.

"8099... 66699... A million..."

Bri looked at the list Tobi scribbled. "'To wake up Kakuzu-san... pull out a quarter and throw it...'" Bri pulled out her last quarter and lazily tossed it to the floor. Then Kakuzu's eyes snapped open. He jumped out of bed and nearly ran over Bri just to get the quarter.

"Oh Coiny-chan! I'm sorry I left you all alone! Daddy's sorry!!!" Kakuzu blurted out as he stuffed the the quarter into the pillow.

"Ahem..."

Kakuzu turned around to see a brown-haired girl on the floor, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and sweatpants. She was glaring angrily at him with a look that clearly said _You cheap old fart..._

He blushed as he mumbled, "Good Morning, Bri."

"For how long were you a daddy, Grandpa Kakuzu?" Bri sneered.

"I'M NOT A GRANDPA!" he scolded as he knocked her on the head.

"Ow!" She blushed and pouted. "Sorry, Kakuzu-san. I'm a bit sour in the morning."

"I could tell."

Bri started walking out the room, rubbing her sore head. She grinned and said "I wonder why you wear that mask; you look younger without it."

Her head hurt and she was going blind again, but she had to continue her chore. The room across from Kakuzu's was Kisame. Bri had to squint to see anything in Kisame's room.

Kisame had painted his room dark blue, and it wasn't even sunrise out yet. His was sleeping on a squishy dark-as-his-room-blue water bed with his blanket half-way off the bed.

Bri jammed a finger in her ear, because Kisame _snored _like a freakin' _sailor_. She took out the list and read "'To wake up Kisame-san... get him wet." Simple enough. Walked out of the room and came back five seconds later with a bucket of ice-water. _SPLASH!_

"ACK!" Kisame sat up in his water bed and glared at Bri.

Bri blushed and covered her eyes. "Good morning, Sushi..." She ran before she could get nosebleed. (Kisame sleeps in his birthday-suit. -__-" Good thing the blanket covered him from the waist down.)

The room next to Kisame was Itachi. Itachi was sleeping peaceful in his bed with his chest rising and falling as he breathed. Bri felt almost guilty for having to ruin his daily relaxation. (But I said almost.)

Bri glanced at the list. "To wake up Itachi-san... sing to him." That was all she needed. She grinned as she brought her mouth next to his ear, and started singing in a creepy sadistic voice meant for horror movies.

"_I love you. You love me._

_We're a happy faaamily._

_With a great big hug_

_And a kiss from me to you._

_Won't you say you love me too?_

_(Special Bri-made verse! XD Version 2!)_

_Itachi-kun, remember me?_

_It's your good old friend Barney. X3  
_

_If you don't wake up_

_I'll keep on singing this song_

_I'll keep on going, just sing along._"

Itachi sat up and screamed. It was a horrible sound, like the little scream had nails down her throat. Bri covered her ears. She read in Itachi's diary that the Barney song still freaked him out, but not _that _much!

"_THE SONG IS BACK! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!_"

"Um... Itachi-san?" His fearful black eyes looked in Bri's direction, who was looking at the floor. "Sorry..."

Itachi glared. Even _if _she said sorry, and even _if _for some reason she called him "Itachi-san" since she got there, he was still mad. "Bri. Look at me."

She nervously did. (Brain's asleep in the morning.)

She was sent into a river. The world above was black and the river was white. She was drowning, until she got slammed into a fence in the water. A hand grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and threw her back to her starting point.

"Come on, Buri-chan? Can't you swim?" It was like that for 72 more hours. (Minor reference to what my name means in Japanese. -.-)

Bri woke up on the floor, curled up in a little ball. She stared up blankly at the Uchiha.

"Good morning, Bri." He said it in what Bri called his "Uchiha cheerful tone".

"G-Good morning, Itachi-san..." She stumbled out of the room as quickly as her disoriented legs would carry her.

The next stop was Deidara. She quietly sneaked into his room. He was asleep on the bed as he rolled over, his golden hair spread like a fan on his pillow.

_Deidara-nii sleeps with his hair down!!! _Bri took out a camera and took a quick picture. (Sorry, fangirl moment. ^^)

Bri took out the list. "Sempai is a light-sleeper, so you could do anything you want." _Light-sleeper, huh?_

Bri walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. "Deidara." She shook him gently. "Deidara-sempai, get up. Please."

Deidara opened his eyes to she Bri, with her dark chocolate ponytail almost released and a hand on his shoulder.

"Good morning, Deidara-sempai."

"Good morning, un." He got out of the bed, then remembered the fact that Bri was his fangirl. He quickly grabbed his blanket and threw it over himself. But Bri snatched it back.

Bri grinned as she noticed Deidara only slept in his boxers. And that the design on the boxers were a bunch of red polka dots.

"Relax, Sempai. I'm too tired to do anything about it now. Besides, I have to wake up Shairo-danna."

She went over to Shairo's room, walked in, then right back out.

"So _that's _how he fits in that doggie bed!"

"Hey, Bri! Can you go get Kakuzu to stitch me up?"

"Yeah..." Kakuzu happened to be walking to the room anyway.

"Next is Konan." She looked at the list. "Just open and close a pair of scissors..." _ARE YOU KIDDING ME, TOBI?! _Bri got a pair of scissors, and snipped them. Konan ran out of the room, grabbed the scissors, and threw them. She walked back into her room with a glare on her face.

"O...k... Tobi's next." Bri went into Tobi's room. He was snoring into his pillow. Bri grinned as she walked over to Tobi and flipped him over to face her. He still had the mask, stuck to his head with _duck tape._

"Dang, Tobi. Why do you have to be so unfair?" Bri took out a lollipop. Tobi instantly jumped out of bed in his bunny pajamas (with feets! ^^) and practically danced around the lollipop.

"Can I have it?! Can I have it, Bri-chan?!"

"Knock yourself out." She tossed the lollipop over to him.

"Yay!" Tobi popped the lollipop into his mouth, so the stick was barely visible under the mask. "Did you wake everyone up, Bri-chan?"

"I'm still missing Hidan, Pein, Zetsu, and Suka." She took out a lollipop for herself. "Which one's closer?"

"Zetsu-san. Good luck, Bri-chan!"

Bri knew just the way to wake Zetsu up. "Zetsu-san! There's an epically awesome fight outside, and you get to eat the loser!"

Then there was the sound of him melting to the floor. **"Food?!"**"Yippy!"

"That's over with, over to Hidan." She almost ran over to Hidan's room.

There he was, on the bed. His silver hair messed up, wearing nothing but sweatpants, cuddling his skeleton teddy bear, and snoring on his bed.

Bri read the list. "Hidan-san is a heavy sleeper, but I usually hit him on the head and make some noise to wake him up." Bri frowned at the immortal. "Stupid agile potty-mouthed two-inches-taller-than-me Jashinist zombie." (Yes, Hidan is about two inches taller. -.- And yes, this is proof that I have too much free-time if I even researched everyone's height.)

Hidan rolled over. "I can't lose... to a stupid-a__ b____ like Bri-chan... I'll do something... about what she did with b_____s..."

Bri sighed, and knocked him on the head. "Don't worry, Hidan-nii. You'll beat me eventually." She pulled out a megaphone and put it to his ear. _"I'M WALKING ON SUNSHINE!!! WHOOOA! AND DON'T IT FEEL GOOD!!!"_

Hidan sat up so fast that he fell backwards, but sent Bri falling with him. He opened his violet eyes to see a certain teenage twerp grinning at him.

"'Morning, Hidan."

"AH!"

**Five seconds later... X3**

Bri walked out of Hidan's room with an inch of ponytail cut off, and a shuriken in her arm.

"You're a _real _morning person, Hidan." She pulled out the shuriken with a grunt. "A _real _happy man in the morning."

Bri went over to Suka's room, then ran out. Suka chased after her with a pillow yelling "LET ME GO BACK TO SLEEP!!!"

Bri ran right into Pein's room. He was motionless on the bed, he even had the blank look on his face when he slept.

"To wake up Leader... you can't be serious Tobi." Bri left to prepare whatever wakes up Pein in the morning.

When she came back, she had a feather and banana-cream pie. "To wake up Leader, you have to make him hit himself with a pie. He falls for it every time."

Bri put the pie in his hand, then tickled his nose with the feather. _SPLAT._

"BRI NARA!!!"

Bri found her self flying out of the room and smacking the wall. Pein, once again, found himself covered in banana-cream pie. It was especially frustrating that _Bri _did it this morning.

**An hour later...**

"Should someone wake her up already?"

Bri went _straight_ to bed after she woke everyone up, sleeping from 6am to at least 10:45. It was annoying, hearing her snore on the couch, occasionally mumbling nonsense.

"No... I don't like that flavor muffin... Zzz..."

"I'll do it." Hidan walked over and yelled in her ear. "YO, B_____! WAKE UP!"

Bri's eye opened up slightly. Then a hand grabbed Hidan's arm in a vicegrip. And a foot kicked him, although it missed its mark for the chin. (It hit him in the... ^^" very painful spot for men.)

"OOOOOOOOOOW! SON OF A F____ING B____! THAT F___ING HURT LIKE A B_____!" Hidan went down to the floor curled up in a ball, having a silent swearing fit. Shairo started laughing.

"Shut up... Hidan-nii..." Then she went right back to sleep. "Deidara-nii... Shika-kun... Itachi-san... Suka-sempai..."

Everyone's head snapped in Bri's direction. "Hidan... _nii_...?" (Translation for those who don't know honorifics: Nii means something only the lines of "Big Brother" -.- And Hidan _is _young enough to act like an annoying older brother.)

"When the hell did she give out honorifics like that?"

"I guess she has a bit of an attachment to us," Itachi said as he took a sip of tea. "I don't remember her calling me 'san' before. Nor has she called Deidara anything other than 'sempai'."

"Should we wake her up and ask?"

Deidara glanced at her. "How could we, un? I'd rather not end up like Hidan, un"

Suka and Shairo glanced at each other. (Remember, they're based off my friend and my cousin, so they know me well enough. ^^) "Bri always complained about her alarm clock," Suka said dully. "She hates being woken up by sound. She prefers a touch."

Deidara was pushed to the front. "Why me, un?! I have so much to live for, un!"

Pein's eyebrow twitched. "You might be the only one who wouldn't come out severely injured."

Deidara sighed. "Fine, un." He put a hand on Bri's shoulder. "Bri-chan... un."

He got tapped by Bri's hand. "Let me sleep... five more minutes... un."

Then Tobi got bored and turned on the TV. The Pokemon theme song filled the air. (I'm talking about the first season, peoples. The 1st season. -.-) Bri immediatly woke up and started singing along.

"WHAT THE F___?!" Hidan asked for the floor. "THE B____ WAKES UP TO _THAT_?!"

This earned him another kick in the same spot. "Shut up. Anime theme songs are the only things I actually _like _hearing in the morning, you zombie."

The entire Akatsuki sweatdropped as Bri started watching Pokemon reruns with Tobi.

"Should we ask about the 'nii' now?"

"Nah. We screwed up her morning enough."

**Due to the horrible results today, I've been relieved of wake-up duty. ^^"**

**Hidan and Shairo: THANK JASHIN-SAMA! WE'RE SAVED!**

**Everyone: Review!  
**


	6. Serious turn

_Okay, peoples. Almost the end of the fanfic._

_Shairo and Suka: NO! WHY?!_

_Everyone in Akatsuki except Tobi and Deidara: YES!!_

_I am sorry, but I don't have the time to do a million things at once. At least I'm putting two more chapters!_

_Everyone who wants the story to continue: *mumble* Stupid schedule *mumble* Freakin' schoolwork *mumble*_

_Inner Bri: *mumble* Stupid Akatsuki fic writer's block *mumble* Stupid idea for new fic *mumble* Damn schoolwork *mumble* -.-  
_

_Oh, by the way, to the reviewer who said I hate Itachi-san... I DO NOT!!! O.o I just like messing with him because he caused an emo psychopath like SASUKE to happen! (And everyone knows what happened after that -.-) And I mess with Hidan because he made Shika-kun cry! For that he must suffer!_

_Everyone: (Sweatdrop)_

Bri walked into the meeting room. The entire Akatsuki was in a circle, everyone staring at Pein.

"Hi peoples!" Bri said as she waved.

Everyone switched their looks to her direction. Hidan was glaring (as usual), Deidara was smiling at her.

"Good morning, Bri, un."

"B____," Hidan said in his usual greeting.

"Zombie." Bri took her spot between Suka and Deidara.

Pein looked around. "Now that everyone's present, I can tell you about the mission."

"Mission?" Bri, Suka, and Shairo whispered. Doing missions for Akatsuki wasn't part of their infiltration job, so they had no clue what to do.

"We plan to invade the Leaf Village, _today._"

The three spies' eyes went wide. "Oh s___," Shairo said for all of them.

"UM... Nagato...Pein...Leader... sir?" Bri mumbled. Going into nervous and Hinata-ish mode. (Voice included!)

"What is it, Bri?"

"You _sure _it's a good idea to catch the Nine-Tails?"

"What makes you say that, Bri?" Zetsu asked. **"What's so bad about it?"**

Bri had on a cold and distant look. "Sasori-danna. Deidara's arms. Aren't those reminders enough of what happens when you guys try to mess with Leaf ninja?!" Everyone was silent. "Should I describe to each of you how you die?!" Suka stared at Bri, with pained eyes. "WELL?!"

After what felt like years, Hidan laughed. "Ha ha ha ha ha! Honestly, b___! That was a horrible f___ing insult! I'm offended!"

"Yeah, Bri, un." Deidara shrugged. "You know my art is unbeatable, un."

Pein looked at Bri. "We're coming prepared this time. _Everyone _coming along. That includes you. The meeting is over."

Five minutes later Suka and Shairo found Bri banging her head against the wall. They both sweatdropped.

"Dang it." BAM. "Dang it." BAM. "Why the" BAM "hell does" BAM "the Akatsuki" BAM "have to be" BAM "FREAKIN' ANIME SUPER VILLAINS?!" CRACK! There was a big crack in the wall. "And how come two of my favorite people have to be on opposite sides when I'm loyal to both?!"

"Bri, snap out of it," Shairo said. "You're no fun when you go emo."

Suka had a different approach for it. She grabbed Bri by the shoulders and started shaking. "BRI! YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS THAT PROBLEM?! WHAT ABOUT NEJI?! AND ITACHI?! AND DEIDARA?! AND TOBI?! AND KAKASHI?! AND IRUKA?! AND-"

"Ok, we get the picture. That's why I have a plan." The immortal boy grinned, then held up an ANBU mask.

"That's a stupid plan."

**...**

Pein put a finger around the mini-microphone around his neck. "Squad A, are you ready?"

Suka glanced at Kisame and Itachi, who both nodded. "We're ready, Leader."

"Squad B, are you ready?"

Tobi and Shairo both nodded to Deidara. "We're all set, un."

"Squad C, are you ready?"

Hidan just said "We've _been _ready, just get it over it. I want to start sacrificing already."

Bri rolled her eyes. "We're ready, Pein."

"Commence." Everyone drew closer to the village.

Suka pulled her black cloak around her and looked at Itachi. "Try not to run into Kakashi or Jiraiya again. Okay, Itachi-kun?"

"Got it." Suka slipped her ANBU mask on as the walked towards the front gate.

Meanwhile, Bri looked down at the village from the top of Hokage Mountain. She sighed.

"Quit wasting time, Bri," Kakuzu ordered.

Bri stood up, and looked at Hidan and Kakuzu. "Hidan." Hidan glared at her. He was taken by surprised as she put a hand on his shoulder. "Try not to kill anyone. That includes yourself." Then she looked at Kakuzu. "Kakuzu. Same goes from you." When she walked away, she looked back at Kakuzu with an ice-cold look on her face. "Kakuzu, no bounties. So help me, I'll rip out a heart for every person you ever killed. Even if you only have five." She slipped on the ANBU mask and jumped into the village.

Hidan looked at Kakuzu. "Damn, what the f___ did you do to get her so pissed at us?"

**...**

**Shairo and Suka: (Death-glare) -__-**

**What?! It's about time someone gave me the idea for it!**

**Suka: Bri, you're not good at describing fights. -.-**

**Shairo: I'd love to see how you get out of this mess.**

**Shut up. I have it planned out. You'll see. ^^  
**

**Review.  
**


	7. A way to get kicked out

_This isn't really my style, but I'll do my best. ^^"_

Villagers stared as all the Akatsuki walked through the village, each with their straw hats on their heads to conceal their faces. The villagers on the north part of the village were in confusion as a silver-haired man stared hungrily out to the people, gripping his scythe tightly.

"No, Hidan." ordered the person that appeared to be an ANBU. "We're just here for the Jinchuriki." Then Bri saw something move out of the corner of her eye. "Move." It was a thick black shadow.

All three jumped as a spiky-pony-tailed chuunin appeared in front of them. Bri's other favorite Naruto character; Shikamaru. _Oh crap, _Bri thought. _It's Shika. Why did he have to be freakin' fake-cousin?_

"Stop right there," Shikamaru said in a demanding voice. "You're not going anywhere."

Hidan held up his scythe, but Bri held up a hand. "I said no killing, Hidan. Let me handle this, you and Kakuzu go ahead." Bri made a handsign. Hidan and Kakuzu left. "Don't take this personally, this is part of my mission."

Bri's shadow slithered up her leg and made it to her hands, hands that became claws. "Ninja Art: Shadow Claw Jutsu." (A jutsu of my own creation that is a variation of the shadow strangle. It makes shadows become claws as long as it takes up some of the user's shadow.)

"So you use shadows too."

"Yup." Suddenly the two of them were blurs. Shadow clashing with kunai as sparks flew in the air.

**...**

Suka had long since managed to slip away from Itachi and Kisame. She sneaked into the Hokage's office and said "Lady Tsunade! I'm here to report on our infiltration mission."

Tsunade looked up. "Back already? Where's the rest of your team?"

"Um, currently the Akatsuki are searching for Naruto here, ma'm."

"WHAT?!"

"Well, you didn't tell us what to do if _they _gave us a mission!"

"... Fair enough. Now get yourselves kicked out before you get any attachment to them." (A LITTLE **LATE** FOR THAT! -__-")

Suka grinned as she said "Alright."

"By the way, Naruto went out on a mission, so he's not here."

Then Suka left.

**...**

Bri and Shikamaru were panting as they dropped their kunai. They were evenly matched.

Then Bri received a small message for the radio-collar thingy.

"The Jinchuriki is not here. We're leaving."

"Roger."

With that, Bri left. Leaving a very confused Shikamaru.

Bri showed up beside Pein. "Is the mission over?"

"Yes."

Shairo, Suka and Bri mentally screamed _THANK YOU GOD (JASHIN-SAMA!)!_

"We're going back."

**...**

The moment they got back, half the Akatsuki flopped onto the poor abused couch. Deidara and Itachi were bleeding from encounters with foes they fought before. Kisame had a big purple bruise on his cheek, from yet another kick from Guy. Hidan was in pieces, again. But, at least, they didn't kill anyone.

"Remind me why I couldn't use my art, un."

"'Cause the b____ didn't want us to kill anyone."

Pein stared curiously at said b____. "Why?"

"Um... you know how those Leaf ninja are. Always trying to beat up whoever messes with them. Right, Itachi?"

Itachi gave her the emo stare and a slight nod.

Then Suka called them for a snack, it was M & M cookies. Everyone in Akatsuki greedily took one. But when they put it in their mouths, something was wrong.

"Hot. Hot...! HOT!"

Zetsu was running around screaming "My mouth's on fire!" Kisame was slowly becoming a super-sized fish stick. Itachi remained with the blank stare, but was slowly turning red. Kakuzu had his mask on fire. Pein was trying to put out the fire on Konan's flower. All of Deidara's mouths were screaming "WATER!!!" Tobi had passed out from the heat. Hidan was rolling around on the floor shouting "IT BURNS!" Shairo was trying to cut his tongue out.

Only Bri shrugged it off. "Suka. Why did you take my Jamaican, Mexican, Indiana hot sauce, AND fire candy?"

"Because... this is war."

Everyone's eyes opened in shock.

"That's right..." Suka said evilly. "The second civil prank war..."

**Akatsuki and Bri: O_O AAAAAAAAHH!!!**

**Shairo: What?**

**Deidara: Do you know what _happens _in these wars, un?!**

**Shairo: A bunch of pranks...**

**Hidan: But those pranks are f___ing evil!**

**Bri: R-Review... O_O  
**


	8. Akatsuki Civil Prank War II

(Imagine the "Mickey Mouse March". That's the background music right now. -.-) Bri walked out in a general uniform, except it was red. Zetsu, Kakuzu, Kisame, Deidara, and Shairo were sitting in front of her with confused looks on their faces.

"Men," Bri said in her "general" voice. "We're screwed." Everyone sweatdropped.

"The war hasn't even started yet," Kisame pointed out bluntly.

"Since Bri is doing an army thing, do we get ranks?" Shairo asked.

"You want ranks? Fine. I'm the general. Deidara's the colonel-"

"How come I don't get to be colonel?!"

"Cause you're the 1st lieutenant, Shairo!" (I really don't know ranks, I'm just guessing from FMA. ^^")

"But whhhy?" the immortal whined.

"Take your rank like a man. You're better than Zetsu, Fishy, and Kaku-san are. Zetsu, 2nd lieutenant. Kisame, Major. Kakuzu, Captain."

"Captain of what?! I'm the lowest rank here!!!"

"Captain of money. There, happy?"

"Maybe..."

"Ok, this is the Second Civil Prank War. Stay on your guard. And don't open any doors without your prank buddy. Happy? No? Good."

**...About an hour later in Shairo's room...**

"If there's gonna be a prank war, I need weapons." He put his hand on the scanner and the walls flipped over. "SON OF A B____!"

Remember how Shairo's room was nothing but weapons? Well, someone replaced those weapons with freakin' _teddy bears. _Teddy bears that had Tobi's mask attached to each of them.

"TOBIIII!!!"

"What is it? **The whole base can hear you ye-" **Zetsu shut up as soon as he saw the teddy bears. "And so it begun."

"The f___ing good boy must **_die._**"

"Wow. **Now that makes two people who want to kill Tobi." **

**...**

"AAH!"

It's not every day you hear the leader of Akatsuki scream like a girl, but he did. Because a certain two people, people who have a record for pranking victims in their sleep (remember the last war and guess), had glued a super magnet over Pein's bed. Pein was stuck to the ceiling, by mostly his face.

"HELP! KONAN! GET ME DOWN!!!" Then he noticed a piece a paper on the magnet. It said in something similar to Tobi's handwriting, 'Tobi was here.' "TOBIIII!!!!"

Tobi walked into the room. "Yes, Leader?" A foot suddenly collided with Tobi's lollipop mask, causing it to crack. "OW! What did Tobi do?! Tobi's a good boy!"

"Good boy nothing!!! YOU STUCK THIS STUPID MAGNET ON MY CEILING!!!"

Tobi tilted his head to the side. "Tobi did?"

"Wait... if you didn't do it... then... _**BRI!!!**_" (Oh crap, O_O")

When Bri heard "her death sentence", she ran, into the only hiding spot nobody else could fit in, under the bathroom sink. "Zetsu... if Pein doesn't find me first, _please _eat me."

**...**

Kisame looked around before coming out of his room. He didn't want to be pranked. He wasn't pranked last time (I don't think he was ^^") and he didn't want to this time.

"Hi Kisame. Want a sandwich?"

Suka was behind him, holding up a plate of sandwich with a friendly smile on her face.

"They aren't made of shark, are they?"

"Nope." Kisame took a bite. "They're made of yellowtail." (O_O Say what?!)

Kisame's eyes widened and he dropped the sandwich. "OH MY GOD!!! I ATE BRI-CHAN!!! O_O" (Buri means yellowtail. You know, the fish that Zatch Bell goes nuts about. The reason I hate using Buri jokes T.T. So, I just made Kisame a cannibal. XP)

Kisame was having a seizure on the spot, when Suka was laughing her head off. Bri walked into the hall to see a dead-looking Kisame.

"OMG! What the hell did you do to Kisa-chan?!"

"I tricked him into eating you."

"Ha ha. Very funny," Bri said coldly. "Make fun of the fish-people. Ha ha."

**...**

"Hey, Zetsu! Come here." Zetsu was stopped by Hidan. "I found the Nine-Tails kid, and I need you to keep him busy while I get the others."

"Alright."

Zetsu walked into Hidan's room, which got locked the second he walked in. "Hidan?! **What the hell are you doing?!"**

Then Zetsu noticed 5 people staring at him. All with shirts that say the same thing. **S**uper **T**errifying **A**nd **R**avenous **V**egetarians **I**ncluding **N**umerous **G**ore-fest. (**S.T.A.R.V.I.N.G XD)**

**"HOLY S___!!!** LET US OUT HIDAN!!!!"

Hidan laughed as he heard Zetsu get attacked by killer vegetarians. "AAH!!!**/AAH!!!" **(Both sides are screaming)

It was all fun and games until Hidan woke up the next morning covered in maple syrup and feathers.

**...**

Itachi walked into his room, and heard music. It was only of the most annoying songs on the planet.

"This is the song that ne-ver ends.

Yes it goes on and on my friends.

Some people star-ted singing it not knowing what it was.

And they'll continue singing it for-ever just because

(Repeat lyrics times infinity T.T You see why it's annoying?)"

Itachi looked under his bed, nothing there. He looked in the closet, nothing there. He searched the whole room, nobody there. Little did he suspect that Deidara was in the air vent playing an MP3 player. Silently laughing his head off.

**...**

Tobi walked into the kitchen, to see Itachi eating his cookies. Tobi crossed his arms and said "Tobi's not falling for that again."

Then the Itachi was suddenly Hidan. "Ha. You got me." He crammed another cookie into his mouth and _ran._

The cookie-stealer disappeared in the hallway just as the real Hidan walked out of his room. And Hidan got tackled, a mean a freakin' American football tackle.

"Tobi wants his cookie back!!!"

"I didn't take your damn cookie!"

"Give it back!!!"

"YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!"

Shairo got a high-5 from Bri as they saw Hidan and Tobi throw random things at each other.

**... (So many dots... O_O)**

"Ok, that is IT. Bri must DIE."

What's the worst thing you can do to Akatsuki when you have the ultimate fanatic weapon? Show them fanart. There were yaoi pairings everywhere. ItaKisa, TobiDei, SasoDei, ItaDei, ZetDei (don't ask -_-"), KakuHida, etc. It ticked off everyone, especially Deidara.

"I know this is part of getting them mad, but why am I with _Zetsu_?!"

"I didn't draw these..."

Tobi came out of the shadows, chuckling. His voice was different than the usual annoying Tobi.

"Do you like the art?" he asked. "I figured it's the perfect thing to blame Bri for."

"I don't even _like _yaoi. Especially not with my favorite peoples in it!" (I once saw a ShikaCho and the rest is history. -.-)

"There she is! GET HER!!!"

Hidan, Kakuzu, Itachi, and Pein were holding pitchforks and torches. They were already chasing Suka and Shairo, so all three ran out the door.

"And don't show up here unless you want to die, b____!" Hidan yelled.

"Ok, but remember, Zombie, _**I know where you live.**_"

After they were about 500 miles away from the base, Suka said "Well, mission accomplished. But how are we ever going to get back in again?"

Bri grinned as if she were in on some joke. "Remember when Shairo and everyone was forced to go in there?"

Shairo flinched. "Yeah."

"I got it all on tape." She held up her camera.

"How long was that in there?!"

"Since truth or dare."

"Crap, the ultimate blackmail. You are demonic, you know that?"

**The end. XD**

**Akatsuki: (Death-glare)**

**I've been planning to have that video since before the truth or dare. -.- So you have no reason to be mad.**

**Deidara: We're mad because you told us half of our yaoi pairings, un. -.V**

**I didn't do it! O.O Tobi did it!**

**Tobi: But Tobi's a good boy.**

**Oh forget it.**

**Everyone: Review!!! X3  
**


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